


I Miss The Misery

by CowardlyAngel



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Abuse, Cycle of Abuse, Deceit, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Logan - Freeform, Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Other, Patton - Freeform, Patton Sanders - Freeform, Potential Triggers, Roman Sanders - Freeform, Virgil Sanders - Freeform, roman - Freeform, thomas sanders - Freeform, virgil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 00:57:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16316072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CowardlyAngel/pseuds/CowardlyAngel
Summary: Virgil and Deceit don't have the...best relationship. This is just a peak into the cycle of abuse the two go through.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING- abuse, self harm, slightly mention of suicide, the mind of an abuse victim, the cycle of abuse. If any of these bothers you, please, please don't read this chapter!!! Last thing I want is for anyone to get upset! 
> 
> Authors Note: For anyone who may read this. This is NOT I repeat NOT okay. Do not romanticize it. What's happening in this chaper is a small peak into the cycle of abuse. Virgil's actions may seem confusing. But remember, he's an abuse victim. And the perception of someone in this kind of situation is very distorted. Not everything is always sunshine and rainbows kiddos, and remember, even if romance is implied, think through the actions of characters. A weird sort of romance is implied in this fic, yes. But that DOES NOT mean it's okay.
> 
> This is my first work on AO3 so if you liked it let me know! I'm working on improving my writing as much as possible!

The scream was rough, primitive, animal like even. It was a scream so deep from inside the darker side that even he didn't even know quite what he was feeling.

Thomas suddenly felt a migraine forming, he didn't know why, however. After all, he had no reason to call apon the sides. 

For the rest of the traits, however, they knew exactly why. Well, at least they knew Virgil was screaming. 

This included deceit. 

Unlike the other three sides, who quickly began freaking out, not being able to find the screaming side, running around the mind space desperately, deceit knew exactly where he was, and why he was yelling. 

"Virgil, dear, calm down, you are going to cause a scene" Deceit snapped, kicking the other side to the ground, which was easy since he was already holding onto his knees. 

Virgil was quiet. No more screaming. 

Deceit smirked "good boy" He commented, bending over to try and help the other side back up. 

Virgil's voice was hoarse. "Again" A small voice managed to escape his lips. It was rough, and he flinched from the sudden pain coursing through his throat as he spoke. 

"What?" Deceit looked confused, pulling his hand away from the other side. 

"Again" Virgil managed to repeat "please" he begged, reaching desperately for deceits hand. 

"You want me-you want me to kick you, again?" Deceit asked skeptically, studdering a bit. Every word, every movement he made, filled with utter passion. He circled Virgil like an animal would circle their prey. 

"PLEASE" Virgil screamed, his nails digging into his arms so hard he began turning red with every scratch. 

Deceit smiled, a sick, evil smile. "I would never" He laughed, grabbing onto the others hair, pulling at it aggressively. His foot pushed on the other sides shoulder blades, causing more friction between the two. 

Virgil let out a small scream, pulling against deceits hand. To deceit, it looked like he was trying to pull away, which only furthered his enjoyment. But the anxious side was instead trying to increase the stinging pain he felt as each hair was yanked. 

"You really are broken, what kind of freak asks for this!?" Deceit yelled, wrapping his arms roughly around Virgil's neck. "You know I could kill you right now, right?" He whispered into the other sides ear. 

Virgil looked the deceitful side in the eyes "death would be to easy. I want to feel alive" He was close to tears, a dangerous smile was on both of the sides faces, each for different reasons. 

"You LIKE when I hurt you?" Deceit asked. 

"Maybe I am broken. Is that a deal breaker? Because last time I checked, you did this to me" Virgil asked, his tone was bitter and dangerous. His throat was in pain, and ever word felt like a knife grassing down his throat. 

"Not at all, my love" Deceit pushed the side roughly, causing him to tumble onto the floor. 

Deceit took his opportunity. It had been a year since he had the pleasure of utterly destroying the other side. The difference? This time, he was ASKING for it. 

"Look at you. Worthless. Pathetic. I don't even know why you stick around those losers. They don't understand reality. Virgil, for the first time, I think you just might." Deceit dug his nails into Virgil's shoulders. 

Virgil took in the pain eagerly. 'I deserve worse' he thought to himself. 'So much worse'

He pushed against deceits hands desperately

"I missed you." Virgil groaned out, grabbing the other side, his shoulders bleeding. 

"No, you didn't" Deceit yelled. "You missed THIS" He slapped the other side roughly "You missed me using you. You missed the anger. The Passion!" Deceit rambled, becoming more and more aggressive as he spoke. 

"I don't miss you" He breathed out roughly "I miss the misery"

Virgil's breaths were uneven, and passionate. He looked up with a twisted sense of joy in his eyes. Deceit locked the door, just in time. The other three began banging on the door. 

"Virgil? We heard screaming? Are you okay!?" Patton yelled, sounding upset. 

"Fake. It's all fake" Deceit whispered to Virgil. "They don't care about you. Only I care about you" He told the anxious side. 

"I-Im fine Dad! Just, a headache. Please leave, the noise is making it worse!" Virgil lied. 

Fearing making it worse, the three left. Deceit turned to him, looking impressed. 

"Dont look so surprised. I learnt from the best"


	2. Plastic Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS- Violence, abuse, slight non-con, it's basically a story about an abuse relationship. If you are worried that anything in that realm might be triggering, Please don't read this! 
> 
> Same rules apply to this chapter that did to the last one. DO  
> NOT Romanticize anything that happens in this story. It's not supposed to be romantic. It's not supposed to make you feel good. It's abuse. Simple as that. 
> 
> Oh yeah, also this takes place before chapter 1 does.

"I HATE YOU" Virgil screamed down the endless hall Deceit had created in the mind space. No matter what he tried, he couldn't escape. He was alone, stuck inside the concrete walls of Deceits creation. 

"My love, don't be so...whats the word I'm looking for?" Deceit slithered up to Virgil, grabbing on to the black hoodie he was wearing and pulling him forward aggressively. 

"Let me go" Virgil hissed at Deceit, tugging as hard as he could muster to gain control of his limbs again.

"Lies are stronger than fear will ever be, you must know that. I mean, I have more choice in Thomas's decisions and he doesn't even know I exist yet" Deceit laughed. He yanked the anxious side close, so close in fact that their chest touched, causing Virgil to have to crane his neck backwards to look at the other side.

"I-I shouldn't h-have gotten involved w-w-with you" Virgil said, his voice shaking in fear, causing what appeared to be a nervous stutter. 

"Don't stutter, Virgil" He said his name with malice "It makes you seem rude" Deceit grabbed onto Virgil's arm, squeezing it a bit before letting go of him entirely and shoving him towards the ground. 

"Fuck you!" Virgil yelled at him, before his hand was promptly, and forcefully slapped against his mouth. 

"As you wish, my dear" Deceit bent down, forcefully shoving his hand near the top of Virgil's pants, attempting to push his hand inside. 

Before he could go any further, Virgil yanked himself away, still with his hand over his own mouth. 

Deceit looked furious. "You tease me, then you won't even let me have my fun!" He cracked his knuckles threateningly, Deceit has been waiting. Just waiting for an excuse to do just this.

"I'll teach you a lesson, you pathetic little bitch, and trust me it won't be the kind you enjoy" Deceit whispered the last part, which to Virgil was, in Virgil's mind, worse than yelling. 

Deceit removed Virgil's hand from his own face. "I want to hear you scream" He growled, his voice somehow deeper than Virgil's could ever go, despite him having the lowest voice of the other three. 

Virgil shivered at the idea, rushing to stand up before Deceit could lay a hand on him. Unfortunately, it was to late. Deceit grabbed the back of Virgil's arm and yanked him back, so hard his shoulder nearly fell out of socket. 

They were standing, Virgil bent forward slightly, his back pressed against Deceits chest. 

Without giving time to process, Deciet went to work. He didn't seem angry, almost passionate, as he swiftly brought back his elbow, wrapping his arm around Virgil in the process, and delivered a rather powerful elbow in the stomach, making Virgil gag. 

"Oh what are you going to do? You worthless faggot." Deciet mocked, repeating his first motion over again, this time powerful enough to make Virgil throw up all over the hallway. 

Deceit grabbed the anxious side and pulled him away from it, as well as himself. "Look at that, look at how gross you are" Deceit put his arm around Virgil's neck, chocking him as hard as he could. 

"Please....please kill me...just….make it stop" Virgil begged, not struggling at all against Deceits grip. He suddenly let go of Virgil, not moving to hit or kick him in the slightest. 

"Dying would be to easy, wouldn't you agree" Deceit asked. He gently grabbed on to the anxious sides hips, gently swaying him in his arms. 

"I never want to hurt you, you know that darling" Deceit spoke in a soft voice. Virgil turned around, hugging Deceit as tight as he could, burrying his face into the taller sides shoulder. 

Deceit rubbed his back calmingly. "Its okay. I love you, baby. I just want what's best for you" He comforted. 

Virgil's muffled cries where all that could be heard for a long time. His body shook without much control, and Deceit just held on to the smaller boy as tightly as he could muster. 

"I'm sorry" Virgil cried out. Virgil didn't even know what for, he just felt an overwhelming guilt pass over himself. 

'He just wants what's best for me. I shouldn't of interfered with that' Virgil thought to himself 'Its all my fault. It's all my fault....'

His thoughts broke free from his mind, and before he knew it he was sobbing into Deceit once more. "It's all my fault"

Deceit just hugged him tighter. "I know, my dear. That's why I'm here to help you. I'm here to keep you safe. I'm here to protect you"

Virgils sobs died down, he backed up a little bit, so that their chest were still pressed against each others, but Virgil could now look into the others eyes. 

Deceit nodded, wiping a tear away from Virgil's cheek. The anxious side almost melted into Deceits hands, but stopped himself. 'Not the time. Not the place.' He thought. 

"I love you"

"I love you too, Virgil"


End file.
